If you have not dated others for some time, or perhaps after the end of a long relationship, you may feel that a lot could have changed since you were last looking for a new partner. You may be feeling a little rusty about how best to assess potential new partners, to see whether or not they might be the one for you.
Whilst it is always important to take an open mind and see the positives in others when meeting new people, you also need to be aware of ‘Red Flags’ on any first date – behaviors which warn you that this person you are meeting for the first time is unlikely to bring you the love and happiness you are seeking in a new relationship. So, here below are some of the most common Red Flags to watch out for on any first date.
Moving Too Quickly
There’s the term currently used, ‘Love Bombing’, where someone seems completely and instantly swept up in you. They are in touch with you all the time and say they must be falling in love when they have not really had time to get to know you. These people can create the impression that you are experiencing a whirlwind romance, and it can be very exciting to feel that you are suddenly the center of so much attention. Sadly, this is very rarely a good thing, and all that heat and passion will often disappear just as quickly as it started once this person has you in their spell, and can be a sign of a narcissistic or controlling behavior pattern.
Asking Too Many Very Personal Questions
Whilst it is important to start getting to know each other on a first date, if you feel that the questions you are getting are too intrusive and make you at all uncomfortable, then rely on your gut instinct. Being quizzed to this degree is a real Red Flag and suggests their motives may not be genuine. The pace of getting to know someone and them getting to know you, needs to feel right.
Only Talking About Themselves
If this is happening on a first date, then it could indicate that this person is only interested in themselves and their own opinions, and not sufficiently interested in you and what you think. That’s not a positive attribute and often suggests the person is overly self-centred. Occasionally, it can be because the person is aiming to make a good impression, setting out their stall so to speak, but if this sort of behaviour persists, it needs to be seen for what is.
Acting Discourteous or Over Critical of Others
If someone has a lot of negative things to say about other people or treats others in your presence with a lack of respect, it’s likely they would over time, treat you the same way too. Rudeness is not attractive and tends to be universally applied — don’t expect to be the one exception.
Telling You About Their Ex
The topic of past relationships may spring to mind on a date - after all, you are there together, contemplating a new relationship - however, if they recognise an empathetic soul in you, don’t let them take advantage and spend the date focusing on their past love or telling you what they didn’t like about an ex-partner. It is grossly inconsiderate and can only suggest they have not taken the time that’s needed to be ready to meet someone new.
Overall, remember it is important to listen to your intuition, and if you have seen these Red Flags or something feels wrong, it probably is and it is best to make polite excuses and move on. Put a poor date down to experience, learn what you can from it, and believe there is someone out there who is just right for you — sometimes all it needs is a little more time to find them.
If you’re ready to form a genuine connection with someone who shares your values and aspirations, then contact our dating experts at The County Register. We’re a dating agency with a difference, focusing on personal matchmaking services that go beyond the capabilities of regular online dating. Get in touch to see what we can do for you today!
