If there is one secret to matchmaking I’ve discovered, it’s that opposites attract. I’d say look for someone who doesn’t allow you to stay in your own bubble.
Chemistry depends on difference, the spark that comes from two elements, two personality types. If a client asks for someone similar, I’ll try and stretch them and say ‘Why is that so important to you?’ Step out of your comfort zone, even it it’s only for one date. It’s also really important to ask a client where their values are coming from. If someone says, ‘My partner must have a certain sort of background/career/salary’, I’ll test them out sand say, ‘Is this coming from you, or your parents or peers? Why is it so meaningful to you? What are your real deal-breakers and what would you stretch to?’
Our register is quite small, which means we only take on clients we really want to work with – we’re also family-run, which reassures people I think. I’m completely involved with my clients and there to comfort them if a date doesn’t go well. You have to help them see what they can take away from that. When you do get it right and a couple hit it off, it’s the best job in the world. You have to not take that as your own success, though, otherwise you’ll take the ones that don’t work out as your failures too.
This process is a lot bigger than me. It’s about who’s on the books at a certain time, chance and synchronicity. Our job is to give fate a helping hand.
PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE July 2013